Connection More Than Control, Emma-Jane Barrett (2025) This is not just another parenting book, it’s a collection of the information that I wish I had known ten years ago. This book explains the things that I’ve learned and applied over the years, information that completely changed my approach and transformed how I connect with my ‘young people’. Connection More Than Control is not a theory, it’s an approach. A perspective shift that seeks to respect, understand and connect generations. CLICK HERE TO BUY!
Relevance – Behaviour & Connection
Your Child is Not Broken, Heidi Mavir (2023) A really wonderful insight into the lived experience of a parent reflecting on her child’s experiences but also her own journey of self discovery. I appreciate the frank and honest tone of this book and really feel that this is a voice that the world needs to hear and listen to because it is reflective of so many lived experiences. Take note, World and pay attention…
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
The Body Keeps The Score, Bessel van der Kolk (2014) This book comes with a pretty big TRIGGER WARNING. Due to the nature of the topic (trauma) it is mostly a distressing and uncomfortable read. I learned a lot from this book and made some really interesting connections across multiple behaviour presentations as well in relation to emotional regulation, neuroscience and mind/body connections. It was reassuring to see that many of the support strategies mirror my own advice. I feel grateful for the knowledge this imparted.
Relevance – Behaviour & Emotional Regulation
The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman (1992) Now this one may seem a bit out of place in my recommended reading but it is relevant, I promise! Indeed, there is a section towards the end of this book dedicated to how the concept of Love Languages can apply to children so that we may learn the way they communicate their affection and how we can use this knowledge to speak their love language and as a result, improve our connection with them.
Relevance – Behaviour & Connection
Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Adults, Luke Beardon (2021) Review pending.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
A Secure Base, John Bowlby (2005) There’s a lot of chatter around attachment theory on the socials, personally I recommend reading authenticated writings on the subject before formulating your own opinions. This is a collection of John Bowlby’s original lectures on the subject and I’ll be honest, I feel this particular edition is best suited to academics. With that said, I recommend anyone who wants a child, is expecting a child, has a child or works with children to read up on attachment theory. I’ll draw particular attention to the fact that Bowlby links early childhood attachments not only to behaviour and personality but also relationships in adulthood. The brain isn’t fully developed until the age of 25, so there’s plenty of time to develop safe and secure attachments. Most crucially, we all have a choice and growth can happen at any time during our life.
Relevance – Behaviour & Connection
Autism in Adults, Luke Beardon (2021) Review pending.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
PDA by PDAers, Sally Cat (2018) I learned so much from this book. I highly value the lived experiences of others; it is not for any of us to project our assumptions and stereotypes onto individuals living their reality which is why individual voices are so important. The insights contained in this book helped to broaden my awareness of and understanding of demands and gave me an alternative perspective on expectations and requests (both internal and external) thanks to the very personal accounts and explanations shared here.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
Avoiding Anxiety in Autistic Children, Luke Beardon (2020) A fantastic book that supports individuals, families and professionals in identifying what may cause anxiety in order to attempt to avoid those experiences. I could really align with so many perspectives discussed in these pages! Highly recommended for improving understanding of anxiety in relation to autism, behaviour, communication, emotional regulation and sensory processing experiences.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
Things No One Taught Us About Love, Vex King (2024) As it quite literally says on the front cover, this book looks at how we can build healthy relationships with ourselves and others. It discusses love as a concept, how that differs to the idea of relationships and attachments and how we can be authentic and honour ourselves in order to build healthy connections and relationships with others. I really enjoyed this and found it an easy read. I loved considering these concepts in relation to parenting connections.
Relevance – Connection & Self-Care
UNTYPICAL, Pete Wharmby (2023) Another great read from Pete sharing his life experiences. It’s always so powerful to hear the autistic voice and so much value in personal accounts of people’s lived experiences. What I particularly love about this book is the fact that Pete not only provides real life examples of his own behaviours and difficulties but offers advice and ideas of how we (as individuals and as a society) can be more accepting and understanding with a view to being more collaborative, open-minded and inclusive.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
What I Want To Talk About, Pete Wharmby (2022) A very personal insight into “special interests” with some really interesting and honest accounts of experiences from his life to date. There were some parts of this book that made me laugh out loud and some of the situations that he describes (the spaghetti bolognese) that I could totally understand. Overall, it was heartwarming to read how special interests can provide such comfort and safety – definitely worth a read to understand how supportive this “trait” can be for some individuals.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
Can’t Not Won’t, Eliza Fricker (2023) An insight into an experience that sadly far too many individuals and families are going through. On a personal level I could relate to some of the frustrations touched upon here and as a professional I love the fact this book really highlights that the right questions STILL aren’t being asked. My takeaway from this book is that everyone involved in the process put the system first, not the individual. The system may be okay for those who CAN operate within it, but what is in place for those that CAN’T?
Relevance – Autism & Education
The Mind Manual, Dr Alex George (2023) Mental fitness tools for everyone! A wonderfully simple and straight forward guide to mental health, providing useful tools for everyone to consider where they are at now and how they can make small changes to start improving mental fitness. I loved this book from the perspective of self-care techniques to help bring some more balance to all areas of my life – not just parenting!
Relevance – Self-Care & Emotional Regulation
Low Demand Parenting, Amanda Diekman (2023) A must read for anyone supporting an individual with some demand avoidant tendencies, particularly those who present within the PDA profile of autism. Not only does it champion the benefits of “dropping demands” and finding connection through collaboration and respect but it also provides a step by step guide of how to achieve this. “The low-demand approach does not use any external measures to determine what demands are too hard for your unique child… Instead, this approach gets specific: this child in this moment, with this unique set of circumstances”.
Relevance – Autism, Behaviour & Connection
The Tapping Solution, Nick Ortner (2013) Review pending
Relevance – Emotional Regulation & Self-Care
The Mountain Is You, Brianna Wiest (2020) Okay, so this may seem a little bit “out there” in terms of relevance, however there is so much to be gained from understanding ourselves better and I used some of the perspectives in this book to consider how our very own actions, behaviours, choices and decisions will inevitably impact our parenting approaches and ways we connect with those around us. Highly recommended for those looking to consider the “inner work” for their own personal development.
Relevance – Connection & Self-Care
New Happy, Stephanie Harrison (2024) So much of this content aligns with my perspective! I love how this book talks about unlearning the “Old Happy” that society dictates (and we didn’t consciously choose) and instead question, challenge and be curious about our lives, our choices and our definition of happiness to make sure we are constantly evolving along our personal journey. This approach and the importance of our emotional state and stability directly impacts our own behaviour but also our response to others.
Relevance – Connection & Self-Care
Sensory and Motor Strategies Third Edition, Corinna Laurie (2022) A great reference book for anyone interested in learning more about sensory processing. Provides information about each of the sensory systems along with examples of both hyper and hypo differences. Discusses states of arousal, regulation and lots of strategies, suggestions and resources to support in various environments and contexts. A great place to start!
Relevance – Behaviour & Sensory Processing
My Happy Mind, Laura Earnshaw (2020) I found this to be a really easy read and as a professional whose work overlaps this area, it’s always reassuring to find that others are promoting the same approaches, strategies and tips that I suggest and recommend to so many of the families that I support. The book takes you through the five stages of the programme:- Meet your Brain, Celebrate, Appreciate, Relate and Engage. It is informative without being overwhelming, provides lots of practical examples and has sections for making notes. Well worth a read!
Relevance – Connection & Emotional Regulation
Successful Social Stories For Young Children, Dr Siobhan Timmins (2016) A collection of 32 Social Stories developed by the author to support her own son during early childhood. Includes support for skills such as listening, waiting, sharing as well as common fears. The book demonstrates how to create your own Social Stories to support your child.
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
The New Social Story Book (15th Edition), Carol Grey (2015) Written by the founder of the Social Stories concept! An approach to supporting the learning of social expectations by explaining social situations in a very specific way. This strategy can help to develop a range of social skills in a variety of scenarios, explicitly explaining the often subtle details of social context. This book contains more than 180 ready to use Social Stories!
Relevance – Autism & Behaviour
The Inward Trilogy (Inward, Clarity & Connection, The Way Forward), Yung Pueblo (2023) Such inspiring words of wisdom contained in these three books. It may seem a little “off topic” in relation to the behaviour support that I’m known for, however these books really ask us to look at ourselves and take accountability for our own contributions to the bigger picture and how we connect with and react to the actions, behaviours, choices and decisions others.
Relevance – Connection & Self-Care
The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse, Charlie Mackesy (2019) What a book! An absolute MUST in anyone’s library just for it’s beauty alone. I have found bravery, courage and strength in the pages of this book and I still use it now. It is such a wonderfully illustrated book with such powerful messages of optimism and positivity. Read it yourself, share it with your child(ren) and buy a copy for everyone you know!
Relevance – Connection & Self-Care